|
|
...and for your penance... In second grade, while attending St. Joseph catholic school, I was instructed in receiving my first communion. There is one thing that has to be done before you can receive this sacrament, you must go to your first confession. The following is taken from the Catholic Information Network; If a child is not judged "ready" for confession, one violates long pastoral practice and tradition to introduce him first to Holy Communion. Catholics, especially parents, teachers, and priests may be guilty of grave and general negligence in teaching and practicing the sacrament of Penance. Although the Eucharist (communion) is the crown of all the sacraments, it does not substitute for any of the others. Regular and frequent confession is a powerful incentive to holiness and the finest possible preparation for fruitful Holy Communions. The nun who was my second grade teacher was responsible for instructing us in the sacrament of Confession, or Penance as it is now sometimes called. We were told a specific prayer to begin the process and then were to recite to the priest our various sins. In second grade, I was 5 years old. We were to tell him all of the sins we had committed up to that point in our life. Can you imagine how long that would have taken if we actually did that. We had been taught the Ten Commandments and were told that these were our "checklist" to determine what sins we had committed. We were never told that doubt, fear, rebellion, witchcraft or idolatry were sins. When I went to my first confession, I knew that I had to confess a reasonable amount of sins, but didn't know what to say. I told the priest the following: I fought with my brother... I lied.... I disobeyed my parents... I didn't know what else to say, so I told him that I had done these several times. In essence, I lied. I knew that I hadn't killed any one so I wasn't a murderer. I didn't covet the neighbors wife, because after all, I was only five. I'm sure that I might have coveted something he had, but that would have been too much to confess. I couldn't say I stole anything because the priest would have been mad with me, so I picked the least offensive sins to admit. The Catholic church was doing a good job at fulfilling the words of Jesus.
Matthew 23:15 One interesting note.. just before we were to go to our first confession, the priest came into our second grade class to talk to us. He asked if we had any questions. I rose my hand and he called on me first. I asked him "why do we have to talk to him (the priest) in confession, and cannot speak directly with God"? The priest became highly upset and told me that Catholics don't do it that way, and that I should not ask those kind of questions. He turned and stormed out of the room. The nun, my class, and I were stunned at what had happened. I know now that it was God who put that question in my mouth and that He was confronting that evil devil that was in the priest. It was a devil in the priest that manifested that day. Yes, Catholic priests have devils. Typically, after going to confession, I would be told to go and pray any number of "Our Fathers" or "Hail Marys". Usually not more than a few. As a child, I knew that if I was in the confessional more than a few moments, or had to pray longer after, then all my classmates would know I was a great sinner. We joked about that, even in second grade. I'm sure by now that you think that I must have been the most wicked kid at that school. I may have been, but everyone else was doing the same thing. If a catholic goes to church and doesn't receive communion, it's because of one thing... they have sinned and had not been to confession. When you remain seated in your pew, everyone knows that you are a sinner. My mother would look at me as if to ask, "why aren't you receiving communion"? In that situation, you do what every good Catholic does, you go up front. Before you Baptists pick up some stones to throw, you might ask yourself how many times you went up front to rededicate. I eventually stopped going to confession, communion, and church. I knew that I did not believe what I had been taught and was tired of being a hypocrite (liar). When I did that, I could feel a change in me. I'm not sure totally what that change was, but I also experienced a change with people in my family. They now were happy to say that I was going to hell. I didn't really believe in hell, so that didn't bother me much. I told them that if I didn't believe what the Catholic church had taught me, then wouldn't God know I was a hypocrite if I continued to pretend.
Hearing the Gospel Fourteen years later, after leaving the Catholic church, God brought me to Water of Life. There I started to hear some things that no man had ever spoken around me. It was here that I first heard that a priest wasn't mandatory for confession. I remember an incident where I went up to Doyle after a service and told him that I had three sins that still bothered me. The catholic in me wanted to confess to someone. Doyle said he didn't want to hear them. Religious people would have me stand up in front of the church and recite them if I would. Religious people love to hear about someone's sins. Doyle instead taught me..
1 John 1:9 Here, at Water of Life I learned that Jesus paid for my sins...
Isaiah 53:11 I learned that Jesus went to hell so I didn't have to...
Psalm 88:5-7 (King James Version)
vs. 5 Free among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, whom thou rememberest no more: and they are cut off from thy hand. vs. 6 Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps. vs. 7 Thy wrath lieth hard upon me, and thou hast afflicted me with all thy waves. Selah. When I am forgiven, God removes my sin from me...
Psalm 103:12 In the church, and under the law, we never forget that sin...
Hebrews 10:3 The Catholic church had never showed me anything in the bible. Here, Doyle would read verses that were plain to me. I could clearly see them and know that what I was hearing, I had never been told. The word "nation" in the bible can mean ONE person. I was being sprinkled with the water of the word (Gospel)..
Isaiah 52:15 One major difference is that I now do not light a candle, or pray to Mary. All I have to do was believe what Jesus has done for me. No, you simply can't just recite sins and be forgiven. God will lead you to repent. I know that there is still some catholic (law) in me because sometimes when God or Jesus answers me quickly, I feel like I haven't suffered long enough waiting for an answer. God will bring up your sins and lead you to repent. He'll bring you to hate that sin that is in your flesh. When you truly repent, your actions will change..
Romans 2:4 God brought me to a place to hear and see the Gospel and what Jesus did for me. He has revealed to me what my sin did to Jesus on the cross.
Isaiah 53:5 Jesus was marred more than any man because of my sin. He paid the price for me. He bought me and I will serve Him.
Copyright © 1999-2007 Jack Small
|
